The Box
by aliceann
Summary: "She was holding him as if a child caught in a bad dream, comforting him. Her throat was dry and her palms wet with his blood. Agent Diana Berrigan was certain of only one thing, Neal Caffrey was not dying tonight." Neal,Peter,Diana exploration & whump
1. Chapter 1

She couldn't remember when Christie had become so important to her. It was odd because everything else about her stood out so sharply in her recollections. Her smell, how she breathed in when she slept, her laugh. It had been a long time since she let herself love someone so completely. As she watched her walk away from the home they shared, she knew her life was about to change in ways she didn't want to think. What more did she want from her? She wanted to stop and contemplate the question, but the suspect was on the move. She never imagined surveiling Neal Caffrey would be a welcomed assignment and a much needed distraction.

What was he doing here at Ground Zero, of all places? Since Bin Laden's capture and death, the area had been swarmed with people celebrating and remembering; alongside the usual suspects of government agents monitoring for security. The word had gone out to the Bureau, high alert. She was pretty sure whatever Caffrey was up to tonight; neither celebration nor security were at the forefront. Why was he here?

She had defended him to Peter, when he was convinced of his involvement in the Nazi plunder heist. Most of the time it had been the other way around, Peter taking his side and pleading Neal's case to her. Grudgingly, she'd come to trust the con man despite her better instincts. She came to share Peter's steadfast faith in his ability to change, to take a different path. Neal to his credit had proved himself on many occasions to be brave and loyal. His unconventional tactics were more than annoying and sometimes dangerous, but they got results.

Yet here he was standing outside a partially renovated building, in this place so stained with tragedy and loss. Her heart already burdened with thoughts of Christie, she didn't want to dwell on the possibility Neal Caffrey was up to no good.

He was about thirty feet away from her. She was good at this game, staying in the shadows, watching. People look but they don't see. Caffrey was trained to look, and so was she. He had been walking for over an hour, until now. He slowed his walk, turned sharply and entered the building to his left. She ran the building address and the results made her blood run cold, owner Vincent Adler.

()()()()()()

"Hi Diana, what's up?"

"Hey Boss, I've been monitoring Neal like you asked, and I think there is something you need to see."

"OK, I'll be right there."

"Honey its Diana, I'm sorry but I am going to have to go into work." He hated missing another night away from home. Elizabeth had made pot roast and it was a long time since they had a Friday night to themselves. He was looking forward to the weekend with his wife.

"It's Neal isn't it?" she said with a trace of worry in her voice.

Peter sighed, knowing a conversation would have to be had with his better half.

"Yes, Dianna and I have been surveilling him since the incident with Adler and the stolen art."

"Why is it so hard for you to believe him, to trust him that he didn't do it?"

"I have trusted him El; you know that more than anyone. But my gut tells me he was involved, that he was keeping something from me."

"Have you talked with him, since you accused him?"

"We have been working cases."

"No, really talked to him, Peter."

"Well, he hasn't been exactly chatty Cathy."

"He's Neal, he's not going to just open up to you, especially now. I am sure he's hurt and maybe a little afraid."

"I know why I don't trust him for this. What I don't know, is why you do. What makes you so sure?" the anger and irritation in his voice was clear, the hurt maybe not so much.

What he always loved about Elizabeth was her loyalty, her stubborn and unyielding faith in her beliefs and for the better part of 15 years together he was always top beneficiary of that trust and loyalty. Truth be told, he didn't like sharing that with Neal Caffrey. It shouldn't bother him but it did. He knew there was no reason to feel jealous, but damn it he did. He knew he would have to square things with Elizabeth, but that would have to wait for later. He wouldn't have anything clouding his judgment tonight when it came to Neal.

()()()()()()()

He stepped out of the stairway into a silent corridor. It led to a rusty door with a painted F on the front, across from the elevator core. It had a simple lever, one pull and it opened under his hand. He walked quickly to the dusty table in the corner. There was the box, as promised. He took a deep breath, lifted it and started back to the stairwell.

"Neal," came the familiar voice.

"Peter, Diana, fancy meeting you two here," he flashed that million dollar smile.

"The question is what are you doing here?"

"I am within my radius."

"Don't play cute, Caffrey. I am not in the mood for cute. I am going to ask you again, why are you in this building, a building that belonged to Vincent Adler tonight." His eyes fixed on the box Neal was cradling in his right hand.

"Look Peter, it's not what you think."

Before this familiar dance between the partners could play itself out, there was the sound of a click. Neal fell quiet and stood stock still. Peter began to speak…

"Shh…" he put a finger up for punctuation.

"No, you don't get to shush me."

"Listen ….do you hear that. We've heard that sound before, Peter," as a series of clicks began in rapid procession.

Before either could respond, there was a rolling sound, like a thunder clap. Then all hell literally broke loose. A bomb had gone off. Dust and debris choked the space.

()()()()()()

Diana's head was pounding; she accepted she was breathing faster and harder than normal. She got to her feet, bracing against the ringing in her head and took a step toward Peter, who was lying slumped against a concrete pillar a few feet away. Thank God, he was awake and alert.

"Boss, are you alright?"

He spoke slowly, his voice raspy from all the dust he inhaled. He managed to sit up.

"Yeah, how about you?"

"I am good, it's all good, just a couple of scrapes," but she was wrong.

"Neal, where's Neal? " Peter asked, worry and pain lining his face.

Both looked toward the elevator banks where they last saw him. To their combined horror, there was nothing but a gaping hole in the twisted floor where Neal had stood moments earlier. Peter scrambled to his feet and ran forward, stopping just inches away from the massive opening in the floor. Diana was right behind.

"Neal, Neal, can you hear me?"

"Here, I'm here," a muffled voice came out of the dark.

Neal's voice was a welcomed relief; but that feeling was short lived as Peter looked down to see Neal hanging onto a steel girder by one hand, below him a 50 foot drop.

"OK, I am going to reach down and pull you up," Peter grabbed Neal's arm above the wrist. "Got you. OK, now give me your other hand. Neal..." Peter's heart beat accelerated, as he looked into his partner's eyes and saw the determination to not let go of the box.

"Neal, I can't hold you. Damn it, whatever's in that box is it worth your life? For God's sake give me your other hand. "

Sweat was pouring from Peter like a spigot; his arm and shoulder straining from Neal's weight, his grip loosening. Diana couldn't believe what was happening. She leaned in closer to the two men.

"Neal, listen to Peter now."

Then she felt it, her body sway. Maybe it was all the adrenaline pumping through her. A second later the sickening realization hit her like a ton of bricks; it wasn't her body moving … it was the floor. The floor swayed and bounced under her feet, then jerked and rolled before splintering. There was a deafening roar and a furious howling noise a hundred times louder, as hot air rushed in funneling upward battering everything and everyone in its path. Then suddenly the room went quiet. There was no light anywhere, the particles of concrete obliterating all view. And as suddenly as the quiet came , so did the sounds of invisible crashing as the building began to collapse on itself, level by level, pancaking down and spiraling upward towards them. Dust, fear and blood filled the air. Wheezing and gasping, she was tossed backwards. For a moment she lay still in the darkness. She must have passed out, because afterwards she crawled back to where she last saw Peter and Neal.

()()()()()()()

The world had turned upside down; with no warning the floor had propelled him crashing toward the ceiling. Death had come for him; waiting, watching. His last thoughts were of Elizabeth and how he'd left angry. Everything went black. He came to amidst the rubble; split and shattered beams, chunks of concrete and panes of glass chevroning. His heart pounded, eardrums stretched taut by the over pressurized air. Every fiber in his arm and shoulder seemed on fire as it dangled loosely by his side. The pain of muscle memory brought him up solid against the cause, holding onto Neal Caffrey. With his good arm, he fumbled for a flashlight in his jacket pocket. He kept the flashlight trained on what was left of the floor. He lurched forward stumbling over piles of crumbled debris. His head hurt, as blood trickled into his eye from the two inch gash along his hairline. His ears began buzzing as he felt himself falling. She caught him just in time to prevent what would have been a nasty collision with an upended steel beam.

"Boss, you OK?" she lowered him to the ground.

"I've been better, how about you?"

"Ask me when we get out of here."

"What about Neal?"

"I don't know. I heard a sound back there. I was moving towards it when I saw your flashlight."

"Help me up," he held out his good arm to her and she helped him to his feet.

"Peter, you're hurt. You're not going to be able to get to him in this condition."

"That's not an option."

"Your arm, it's…"

"Dislocated, I know. You can help me with that." He leaned his injured shoulder against the upended steel girder.

"OK. When I say three, push." For a second her mind went blank, and then she pushed. His scream echoed in the wreckage, as his shoulder popped back into place. They moved quickly now through the smashed building, until they reached the place Diana heard the noise. Their efforts were brought to an abrupt halt by an impenetrable mountain of concrete and mesh rising up where the elevator banks had been. She felt her heart sink; there was no way they could get past it. They both stood silently. Peter's face was pale and sweaty, his breathing laboured. She knew he needed medical attention, soon.

"Boss…."

"Wait, did you hear that. Listen." There was a faint sound, a muffled voice.

"Yeah, over there," Peter trained the flashlight in the direction.

There was a space, the size of a small window; one and a half feet wide two feet deep maybe. A kid could get through; a full grown adult was going to be a problem. Maybe she could sqeeze through, but no way was Peter going to make it, bum arm or no.

"Boss, no way are you going to get in there. I got this, and anyway if I get stuck somebody's got to go for the cavalry. Something told me that second doughnut was going to be a problem," she smiled.

"Di, be careful," Peter searched her eyes, and uncharacteristically hugged her hard and longer than he needed to.

"Don't worry, I was trained by the best."

She managed to get one shoulder through, then the next. She bent one leg and pulled it through and then got the other through. She used her legs as leverage, pushing the chunks of concrete and mesh to either side as she made a channel large enough to push her body forward. Painstakingly she repeated this process over and over again until she found a bit of crawlspace formed by the broken girders. She lowered her body down, when she saw him. Neal was lying on his back.

"Boss, I see him," she called up to Peter.

"Is he…"

"I can't tell yet." She realized there was nothing to grab onto, she would have to drop the rest of the way. She landed feet first next to Caffrey. His chest rose and fell slowly; she took in a deep breath.

"Peter, he's alive."

()()()()()()()

A girl with long dark hair was coming toward him across the tarmac. In her outstretched hand she held a box. The breeze blew her hair as the sun gilded the burning sky in vivid reds and oranges. Her face was white and smooth, no signs of bitterness or reproach. He was dreaming again. He knew it. There were moments of grace in his dreams, although too far and few between. He knew he wouldn't remember them when he was awake. There was a dull aching in his belly, a tiny trickle of blood flowing from his nose and mouth. The force of the explosion knocked him clear across the elevator core against what was left of the back wall. Mercifully consciousness came and went as he lay in the dark. …slowly his eyes fluttered open, as he heard her call his name and felt the warmth of her hand on his face.

"Kate?"

"Neal, it's Diana, can you hear me?"

For a moment he didn't know where he was. Then he remembered why he had come to this place.

"What happened?" his throat was so dry.

"We think a bomb went off, the blast weakened the building and it collapsed.

"Where's Peter? Is he alright" his breathing sped up and he struggled to fill his lungs.

"Neal, Peters OK. He's right above us. You need to remain calm. Here, can you sit up? It might help you breathe easier."

She took his shoulders and began to pull him upright. His face went white.

"Stop," he gasped in pain. Don't … Oh,God, please...my leg." A wave of pain flooded his body, threatening to wrench it apart. He clenched his teeth hoping he could stop the scream building deep within him. Then another spasm of pain so intense, he stopped knowing whether he was screaming or not. With white boned knuckles he gripped Diana's hand and clung on for dear life. He couldn't feel anything but pain and the knowledge of more pain. It had emptied his lungs so completely, he struggled for breath.

His pain sent a momentary shiver through her body. She knew the only thing he wanted was for it to stop. Panic was welling up in her chest. She knew it wouldn't do either of them any good. She wrenched her hand free of Neal's. He was able to hold on with astonishing strength. Gently she laid him back on to the floor. His body was shaking uncontrollably, tears rolling down his face.

"Neal, look at me, breathe…. We are going to get out of this. I am going to get you out of this."

Those amazing blue eyes of his normally looked as if they were lit from behind, now they were clouded with pain and shock. He turned his face towards her and lost consciousness.

()()()()()()

Neal's screams echoed thru the cavernous space. A frantic Peter called down to Diana.

"What's wrong, what's happening? Diana, talk to me!"

With Neal thankfully unconcious, Diana was able to survey the damage. A darkened pool of blood was under his right leg. On closer inspection she could see the object of his agonizing pain. A one inch piece of rebar was protruding above his right thigh. Apparently he was impaled on to it when he fell, it sent an involuntary chill through her.

"Peter, I am here. Neal's in bad shape."

"How bad?"

"I don't know, he's passed out. His leg is impaled on a piece of metal. By the amount of blood I can see, it doesn't look like it hit a main artery. We are not going to be able to move him. Boss, I think it's time for the cavalry."

"I tried my phone, there's no signal. I am going to go for help, we can use Neal's anklet to find you."

"OK Boss, hurry," as she watched Neal's still body.

His eyes should have adjusted to the dark by now, but his vision continued to go in and out of focus. The pressure in his skull was building. It was sheer force of will that kept him upright as he made his way in the dark. The sounds of Neals' s screams reverberated in his head and made him nauseous. He could hear muted city sounds and figured he was getting close to the exterior. He sensed human movement ahead thru the shadows and dim light. The bright lights of a flaslight momentarily blinded him.

"Raise your hands," the agent said.

He was a medium build, early forties, ex military... maybe DOD,DIA. The demand hung in the air for a moment. His gun was aimed at Peter's chest.

"Last chance," he growled. His finger tighened on the trigger, as the agents behind him moved forward. They took position, two on his left and two on his right and stood still.

"I am a federal agent."

"Prove it."

Peter put his hand in his inside jacket pocket and came back with his badge. He was sweating profusely, but his face was calm and composed.

"OK, what are you doing here, agent Peter Burke?"

"I have people in here, and we are wasting time," he stepped forward.

"Stay where you are. You're going to tell me what you are doing here, now."

"I told you who I am. Do you think I am making this up?"

"I don't know. I don't know anything about you Agent Burke, ID or no ID. What I do know is, I lost a lot of friends when these towers came down. So, you don't leave until I know what you know." The building groaned and creaked, as minor tremors rippled through the space. Peter knew time was not on his side, he needed a plan. He stepped forward.

"I am going for help. Either move or take the shot."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

FDYN paramedics had secured him to a gurney. His head was still spinning, but the pounding pain was gone. It ached a little as his mind cleared. He looked over to his right. There sat the guy with the gun.

"What happened?"

"You keeled over, before I could shoot you. Frank Ryan," he said.

He still looked as if he might shoot him. Peter tried to sit up and the room tilted slightly.

"Hey buddy, take it easy, the paramedic spoke softly. You took a pretty nasty blow to your skull," she removed the restraints. Peter could feel the stitches tightening as he groaned.

Frank Ryan was stocky but toned, fresh haircut and shave, deep set blue eyes that didn't blink. They had a certain menacing quality in them. His feet were planted and those unblinking eyes fixed on the man lying across from him. Ryan looked like a guy that might scare people. He was particularly suited to his job; Special Agent, Federal Anti Terrorist Task Force.

"You were going to tell me what you're doing here?"

"A bomb went off and the building collapsed," Peter grunted.

"You can do better than that."

"I could make up a story."

"Try it."

He didn't much like being on the other side of an interrogation. Until he knew what Neal was up to, he was still his partner. He wouldn't implicate him.

"We've been working a case involving a billion dollar art heist, priceless art treasures stolen by Nazi Germany. The prime suspect, Vincent Adler was killed. He owned this building. We got a tip and my agents were here following a lead."

"So a dead man was responsible. You sure he's dead?"

"Pretty sure. I killed him. But you probably know that. My guess, you have at least 100 people checking all this out."

"Yeah, the FBI already briefed me. I wanted to hear it from you."

He knew Burke was telling the truth and lying through his teeth at the same time. It was reminiscent of a page out of his own playbook. There was something or someone he was trying to protect. Under other circumstances he might like this guy, but tonight he had a city to protect.

"Are we done?" Peter sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

"You got plans?"

"Cut the crap Ryan. What's going on with my agents?"

"My team found them, they dropped an electronic surveillance device. We should be going live any moment. He indicated toward the door of the ambulance, "You want to join the meeting?"

()()()()()()()()()

She heard a noise over head.

"Peter?" It surprised her how shaky her voice was. It seemed like an eternity since he'd left.

"Agent Berrigan," came the voice from above.

"Right, where's Agent Burke?"

"Take it easy, Agent Burke is secure. Are you hurt?"

"No, but my partner is."

"Can you tell me, exactly?"

"He's unconscious. He's pinned to a slab of concrete beneath his leg. I think the rod went through and through, no artery or broken bones. The wound was bleeding but it's stopped."

"OK, we are going to try and lift you out."

"No, I am staying with him."

"Agent, this building is unstable, it could come down at any minute. Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

" We're going to have to go back for equipment to free your partner. I am going to lower some supplies and a monitoring device that will let us maintain audiovisual contact with you. Hang on."

She was cradling his head in her lap. She wiped the sweat from his face, it was momentarily free from the pain that had settled in it. If she didn't know better, he almost looked liked he was resting. Then his eyelids would flutter, his chin quiver and lips twitch slightly into a grimace, as if he was fighting off a bad dream. She felt useless.

_She's standing at the top of the stairs, watching. She wants me to come to her. It's dark. I don't want to go. I don't want to go. I don't know how I am going to climb, my leg hurts._ He was dreaming again.

She freed herself from him and crawled a few feet away towards the package dropped from above. Blanket, lantern, water , first aid kit and some newly developed toy for spying, It looked NSA. Her palms studded with bits of concrete and glass, knees scraped and bruised; she made her way back to Neal. Her foot brushed against something solid as she got closer, the box. The box Neal had refused to let go. The box he was apparently willing to die for. Her thoughts were interrupted by a small moan.

"Hey, you awake?"

"Yeah," he tried to swallow.

"Here, take a sip of this."

She gingerly propped his head up and brought the water bottle to his parched lips. Some color had returned to his face.

"How's your leg?"

"Hurts, not as bad if I don't move it."

"There are some pain pills in this kit. Might help if you took a few." There was no resistance as he swallowed the pills.

"I also found this," she held out the box to him. "Neal, what is this? Was it worth it?"

"I don't know yet. Diana, I am sorry I got you and Peter involved in all of this.

"Well it better be worth it."

()()()()()()()()

NYPD was certainly the biggest police force in the country, maybe the world. It looked tonight as if the entire force was outside, along with guys in suits, lots of guys in suits. Peter and Ryan made their way through the throng to an incident command center that had been set up on the perimeter. Inside, more guys in suits. They had black shoes and blue ties, early thirties, fit. They were representatives of every three letter agency this country had, and maybe some that didn't exist. A bomb going off at Ground Zero and a building threatening to come down was the worse case national security scenario and this countries longest running nightmare. Outside the secured perimeter was a gathering crowd of Manhattan's population and scores of frenzied reporters.

"Can I buy you a cup of coffee?" Ryan reached for the coffee pot on the desk.

"I never say no to coffee."

He watched as Ryan went through a mountain of reports, briefings and internal memos. There was a grainy video feed on the bank of monitors mounted on the far wall. Ryan stared intently, as an agent briefed him.

"This is typical NSA bullshit," he spat out.

"Problem?" Peter asked. Ryan nodded.

The National Security Agency was the largest intelligence agency in the world and the most secretive. They didn't play well with their brother agencies. They had the ability to look and listen in anywhere in the world. The surveillance device Ryan had employed was one of theirs. A captured signal was relayed through an NSA satellite, to another satelite, thru another, and another... and after traveling through miles of computers stored deep in the agency the signal was impenetrable. Or so they thought. Ryan had just received word that the video feed had been hacked and uploaded to the internet. It was a matter of time before it went viral.

" I thought you guys were up to speed on this kind of stuff. This isn't the first time NSA has dropped the ball, you know," Peter rolled his eyes.

" Now what?"

"We go ahead with the plan."

Ryan pressed a button. The monitor came alive, and Peter could see his two friends. The room went quiet. He caught his breath. The quiet lasted only a moment. Ryan was on the move, motioning to an agent in the back. He approached the FBI agent as if to escort him from the building.

"OK, time to move," Ryan directed the assembled team.

"No you don't," Peter extracted his arm from the younger agents grip.

"Sit tight, Burke. We don't have time for this. You want to see your agents, stop wasting my time. You're done here." But he wasn't.

His gaze was leveled, as he looked at Ryan. "You lost friends when these towers came down. So did I. I'm not losing any more friends tonight. I am going with you."

Ryan drew a deep breath. This was going to get messy, and he hated messy. Burke was the least of his worries. The briefing on the structure read: highly unstable, imminent collapse. They would not be able to lift the agents to safety. The only option was to tunnel below them. It would take a miracle to get them out alive.

"And if I say, no," Ryan growled.

"Then, I guess you'll have to shoot me."

"I've been told I can't shoot Federal Agents, you'll have to find some other way to die. I hope it's not tonight."

()()()()()()()()()

"Prison was the worse time of my life. I didn't think I was going to make it. I didn't know if I wanted to. I thought I had lost her, and I couldn't breathe."

"Kate?"

"Yes, I had promised her a life. But I was foolish and I told myself being bold, taking risks would win her back."

"You mean the jobs you pulled, going to the warehouse that day. You must have known we were surveiling her?"

"I didn't care. I was in love I told myself. But it was pride and arrogance that motivated me, not love. I ruined everything. I thought I would never see her again. I remember the first day she came to visit me, as if it were yesterday. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her, to make everything right, but I could barely speak.

"I can't imagine Neal Caffrey lost for words." she said with a wry smile.

He smiled back, followed by a brief but painful round of coughing.

"Have some more water, Neal. You need to stay hydrated."

"I'm OK, I'll be fine. But you're right, verbal acuity is my stock and trade. I'd hidden behind so many masks for so long, I'd lost track of the one thing that was true... love. I wasn't able to fake it anymore, somehow my heart and my mouth had disconnected. It dawned on me, I didn't know what love was."

He paused and grew quiet for a time.

"I was scared, really scared. Maybe for the first time in my life. To see her without touching her or kissing her. To see her walk away was unbearable."

She had never seen Neal vulnerable like this before, his heart laid bare. She thought she had tamped down her own feelings,but Christie's leaving flooded through her, resonating so completely with his grief. Until she met Christie ,she was so closed to love. Then she began to want things, things she never wanted before. It's as if she had been given permission to dream, and all her dreams were of her. Now it was all unraveling.

Neal shifted, his head rolling slightly on her leg. His eyes were closed. She knew it was not good for him to lose consciousness. She shook him gently.

"Hey, stay with me. I want to know what's in this box."

"Oh, yeah., the box. Kate loved the classics. I decided I would learn what love was, take a master class, if you will. Where better to turn then to classic works of love. I steeped myself in every poem, every letter or passage I could lay my hands on. Every week when she came, I gave her a letter based on a work of love with a promise that when I was truly worthy of her love, I would ask for her forgiveness and her heart."

"So these are the letters you gave to Kate," she fingered the box on the ground next to them.

"Not quite the treasure you and Peter imagined."

His voice broke slightly as he finished. She wanted to offer him some comfort.

"I'm so tired," his eyelids were starting to droop close.

"Try and drink a little more water."

"I can't, my stomach hurts. Distract me, tell me a story."

"You've picked the wrong girl Caffrey. I'm not much of a story teller." She looked at the box, and reached inside.

" How about, I read one of your letters."

_my love for you is deathless; it seems to bind me with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me unresistibly on with these chains to the battlefield._

_The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when God willing, we might still have lived and loved together,and seen our sons grown up to honorable manhood around us._

_But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth, and flit around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the gladest days and in the darkest nights...always,always, and if there be a soft breeze upon you, it shall be my breath, as the cool air fans your throbbing temple,it shall be my spirit passing by._

A tear rolled down her cheek, as Neal quietly slept and the NSA toy came alive in the dark.


	3. Chapter 3

_The Box Chapter 3_

_He tried to move his feet, they were heavy. His shoes were filling with water, icy cold water. There was a noise, maybe he screamed. The cold was shooting through him, like knives cutting through his arms and legs. The freezing water was rising fast. He could see a bridge in the distance, but no one was there, no one could see him._

Somewhere between waking and dreaming, he knew he had to try and remain conscious. Half dreams and necessity forced his eyelids open.

"Neal, hey you said you were going to stay awake."

"And you trusted me?" he smiled weakly.

"Right," she laughed.

She held up the small electronic device that had been left with them earlier.

"The search team left this while you were out, it's some sort of high tech toy for keeping track of us. It went wild a few minutes ago."

"You think they are getting close?"

She hoped so, because he didn't look good. He was still really pale and his breathing had increased.

"Another letter?"

"Sure."

_there's nothing in all the world I want but you – and your precious love—All the material things are nothing. I'd just hate to live a sordid, colorless existence- because you'd soon love me less—and-and I'd do anything….Anything—to keep your heart for my own—I don't want to live—I want to love first, and live incidentally…Don't-don't ever think of the things you can't give me—You've trusted me with the dearest heart of all—and it's so damn much more than anybody else in all the world has done_

I want to love first, and live incidentally, the words kept running round in her head.

"I have to be honest with you. I wasn't sure these letters had anything to say to me about love."

"So did I at first. It's not like going to bed with Wikipedia. It's different having their words, it's like you get to share in the experience of love. You know?"

"Yeah, it's amazing, so real."

"Hmm, love like that is impossible to fake. Take it from someone who knows. I told Kate I loved her. I told myself I would change. But I didn't. It was this trick I worked out for myself. I tell myself I'm changing."

"But you did change."

"Did I?"

"I've managed to hide behind one false front after another for so long. I don't know that there's anything left. After I lost everything, I slowly came to the realization the only power capable of changing me was love. But still I resisted it. We are who we are."

"The old nature versus nurture argument. I get it. I always thought that was a really silly way of looking at things."

She had his undivided attention, even through the fog of pain.

"You are who you are. What does that mean? Without the possibility of change, without hope, what does all of this matter. We have choices. We are wired for choice. You have a choice."

"I wish it were that simple. You see, I want to be a person that I'm not. Adler said I got Kate killed, and he was right."

"Adler was a manipulative murderer. He was playing with your head."

"Maybe, he fell silent for moment. There's nothing sadder than a con man conning himself, he told me. I've hurt so many people. My family, my friends, the people I care most about. Peter was right not to trust in me."

"No he wasn't. He was hurt, and he reacted. You might be an imperfect partner, but you are still his partner and his friend. I know he's out there somewhere searching for us, searching for you."

()()()()()()()()

Ryan glanced at the wall of concrete. Then he looked back at Burke.

"Can we get to them?" Peter asked.

"Law of averages, says no. But then again, I'm not a numbers guy."

He could feel the fear and responsibility coming off the FBI agent like cheap perfume. He knew they had one chance to get them out. If it failed they would be trapped. They all would die tonight. He didn't want to die a failure.

There was nothing to see in the darkness, nothing to hear but the muted sounds of the city and the breathing of the men advancing their way in the dark. Then static crackled from the Bluetooth device in his ear. Gradually a voice came into focus. It was Diana. Special Agent Diana Berrigan. She was the most impressive rookie he'd seen during his time with the Bureau. Smart, tough as steel, attractive and quick. Really quick. He liked her immediately. It was her voice alright, but the tone was different; softer, sympathetic. She was reading…..

_I shall always be near you; in the gladest days and in the darkest nights….always,always, and if there be a soft breeze upon you, it shall be my breath, as the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by._

Ryan recognized the passage instantly, as it filtered through his ear device. It was from another time and another war. Something passed across his face. Bloated corpses and mangled limbs. Soldiers rarely die for an ideology, fighting men fight for their friends. Friendship like that is rare, beyond justice, beyond politics. It had been the same at Bull Run, Iraq, Afghanistan, and this nameless war on terror. He had belonged to a community of men who undestood that insight and sacrifice. He didn't envy Peter Burke.

There was little oxygen to breathe in the cold damp air that shrouded them. His heart hammered in his chest as he listened to his friends conversation, knowing their lives now depended on him and the man up ahead. It was a visceral reminder of the last time he was at this site.

He and Elizabeth would have been in the twin towers when they went down. She had gotten a well deserved promotion at DeArmitt Gallery. It was a mystery to him still, why this smart, sexy and incredibly beautiful woman loved him. A mystery he had no plans to solve. He was the luckiest guy in the world, and grateful. In celebration, he planned a breakfast for her in Windows on the World. He was on the ground when the first plane hit. He was late and El was always on time.

"Burke, you have any plans to join us," Ryan shouted back to him. "I need you watching my back. Get your head in the game, or go back."

He hadn't realized he wasn't moving. In his head it was 9/11 again. Most of the time he wasn't aware of breathing. Now what was usually automatic, was taking an effort from deep in his brain.

"Go," he said. I'm right behind you."

He was at ground level when the first plane hit. Frantic and breathless he began searching for Elizabeth. He collided with a young man standing frozen on the street. His face was turned skyward with a look of sheer horror. People were jumping from the windows. He thought he saw Elizabeth. He thought he saw her fall. The image was firmly fixed in his mind, even now. When he thought she was dead, his world collapsed with those towers. It changed him. He never took his love for her for granted after then. It was the only good thing to come out of that day.

"So Burke, are you going to tell me why your friends are really here?"

He told him everything, exactly what happened all the way up to the explosion and the building collapse. Most agents would have asked follow up questions, but Ryan didn't.

"The perimeter sweep was clear. None of the usual suspects have come forward claiming responsibility for the bombing, AlQueda has been quiet, no chatter on the airwaves. This is not a terrorist activity. So, any ideas on the bomb?"

"My hunch. It's related to Adler, somehow. He's had an obsession with Caffrey."

"It's personal, then."

The recovery team had found traces of the bomb. Blasting caps from the fusing mechanism had detonated it. It had been armed by a circuit that closed from a signal to a built in pager. The team had traced it to local number, the suspects were already being rounded up. All home grown and on Vincent Adler's payroll. It seems he had reach from beyond the grave.

"We are almost there. If we could just get this piece of NSA crap to transmit."

"What's the plan?" Peter asked him.

"To get your people out, we are going to set off a small charge underneath them to create an opening. We have to get under your man to unpin him. It all depends on timing, then. If it's not right, we might have to take the kid's leg." If it came to that, Caffrey would need all the friends he could tonight, Ryan thought to himself.

()()()()()()()()()()

She had gone through several letters now, exhaustion was starting to take over. Neal had taken the last of the pain pills and it had little effect. The pain was back, big time. He was visibly weaker, having trouble breathing. She was frightened.

"So far, these are all from you. Did Kate ever write back to you?" she said determined to keep him distracted.

"No," he said as if time had not moved on.

"Why do you think she didn't?"

"At first, I was so grateful she came at all it didn't matter. Each visit was a gift. She was a letter."

"But weren't you curious?"

"Of course. She had her reasons. When I was fresh out of hope and afraid I couldn't make it, she would show up. Week after week, I felt inhabited again. I told her the most ordinary things about myself. I told her everything. She once told me, one day you'll tell me all your secrets and I did. I knew one day she would tell me all of hers."

He was quiet for a time, she offered him another sip of water. The small movement of lifting his head caused him to grimace in pain.

"So how did you find out about the box?"

"I got an annonymous letter. It said Kate had left something for me. One of the letters I sent her was enclosed. It said come to this location."

"It had to be Adler. Did you know he owned this building?"

"Yes, but for a second I forgot what kind of monster he was. He'd taken everything from me, I thougth maybe it was a last kindness. To give me something of Kate's. A letter I hoped. I couldn't bare the thought she died not loving me. I had to know what was in that box."

He coughed and breathed hard, trying to keep the bile and blood that was pooling at the back of his throat.

"Enough about me, he said weakly. Tell me about you and Christie."

Christie was the best part of her life and the thought it might be over was unbearable. He saw a trace of sadness cross her face.

"Something wrong?"

"Christie walked out on me tonight."

"I'm so sorry."

"There have been problems for awhile. I just refused to deal. We are not that different Caffrey, at least where it comes to love."

"Afraid to risk it all?

"I thought I'd rather have less of everything, then risking it all. But I was wrong, so wrong. Living in the moment is hard for me. To love first and live incidentally, that's Christie to a tee. She's God contibution to goodness. It was love at first sight."

"Tell me," he said.

"She has this voice that's low and musical, and a warmth that embraces you like an old familiar sweater. I wasn't prepared for love to be accidental, but I couldn't resist her. She is fearless in her love. And she demanded no less from me,'' her voice began to break a little.

Neal placed his hand on hers.

"Is it because of Charlie? he said softly.

"I think a little bit of me died, when he did. I am so afraid of losing someone again. I coudn't let anyone totally in. She can't be happy like that. She won't, and I don't blame her. But the thought of losing her takes my breath away."

"A wise woman told me we all have choices, choose love," he tried to smile through the pain, but his body shiverered uncontrollaby.

()()()()()()()()()

This is Brian Williams with breaking news in the developments at Ground Zero. As you know we have been reporting to you the news of the bombing tonight at Ground Zero in lower Manhattan. Sources are telling us a statement will be issued from the White House momentarily, that this is not the result of a terrorist attack. I repeat the bombing and the building collapse at the site of the 9/11 memorial is not a terrorist attack. Mayor Blumberg is preparing to address a very tense city. We will cut to that as soon as he begins. For the citizens of New York city, and the entire country this has been a harrowing night. As you can well imagine, with the recent developments of Osama Bin Laden's capture and the threats of reprisal, everyone has been on edge. There is a collective national sigh of relief as we are receiving the news. Sources close to the investigation are reporting that the bombing was the result of a local group and the FBI already have suspects in custody.

However, what has become almost as big a story is the live feed of the two trapped federal agents in the collapsed building. In an embarrassing develpoment for the countries highest security agency, an NSA signal was hacked and uploaded to the internet. A rescue attempt is curently in progress. However, what has mesmerized the nation are the love letters they have been reading and the discussion these two agents are having. Sources have confirmed Diana Berrigan and Neal Caffrey are the the two trapped agents. Thousands of emails, tweets and postings on facebook have been pouring in. Not only are people commenting on the discussion, but posting their own love letters as well. On a night we were all prepared to revisit an unspeakble tragedy, the country instead has begun a national discussion of love. We are breaking away for Mayor Blumberg, but we will be with you through out the night as developments happen in this remarkable story.. This is Brian Williams with NBC news.

()()()()()()()()()

"So much for secrecy, Ryan snarled. Apparently everyone in the univese can get a feed on what's going on up there. While I can't get this piece of crap to transmit one signal."

As if heeding the implied threat in Ryan's voice, the red dot on the NSA device flickered to green.

"Diana, it's Peter. Can you hear me?"

"Yes, Boss. I have never been happier to hear your voice."

"How's Neal?"

"He's in a lot of pain, but he's awake and alert."

"Listen, we are right below you. I am here with Agent Frank Ryan from the Anti Terrorist Task Force. It's his team that's going to get you out."

"Agent Berrigan."

"Yes."

"Frank Ryan. I am going to need you to pay close attention. We have you located on the north wall. We are setting off a small charge, accuracy within a foot of impact. I need you and agent Caffrey to cover yourself from any debris that might get kicked up. Once we have our opening we will come up."

"Neal can't move."

"We have the equipment to free him. We will signal you when we are ready."

"You two are going to be OK. I promise,"Peter added.

"I knew you would find us, just hurry." She pulled the blanket over Neal, as they huddled against each other.

Ryan and the team took up position. He could just make out the spot below the two trapped agents. Two concrete posts supported the back wall. Very little headroom. His mission pounding thru his brain, he called for the charge to be placed.

"Agent Berrigan, now!"

Even as he spoke, something felt off... He looked back at Burke, as the floor twisted. A look of disbelief was on his face. In a second the game had changed. He was skilled at self preservation, probably more than most. He kew they would be fighting for all their lives now, as the concrete pillars crumbled around them.

"Boss, Boss... Peter can you hear me? What's happening? Can Anybody hear me?"

To be continued, thanks.


	4. Chapter 4

The Box Chapter 4

_Disclaimer; I don't own White Collar. If I did, it would be more of a struggle for Neal to take the treasure and run._

He could see only a few feet in front of him. There was a faint noise in the distance. He turned to the sound, moving blindly in the direction. Shards of glass and sheared metal biting into his hands, he crawled in the claustrophobic space. The dust began to settle and the shifting building stilled. Then he saw it, the flashing red dot of Ryan's earpiece. As he edged closer lifting it into his hand, the hair on the back of his neck stood on end. It was covered in blood.

"Ryan, Ryan, he shouted, his voice barely able to contain the panic he felt. "It's Burke, can you hear me?"

"Here, over here."

This can't be happening he thought. He could barely make him out, he was buried up to his chest in the rubble. God. A pool of black blood was spreading outward from his body. He shoved his way forward until he reached his side.

"Ryan," he said, more softly.

"Don't look so worried, Burke. There's nothing you can do."

He knew it was true, but for that moment he couldn't let himself entertain the reality. He placed his hand on his chest, it rose slowly. He could feel the tremors rippling through muscle and flesh, as Ryan struggled to breathe.

"Do you see an opening?" he managed to choke out.

"Save your energy, Ryan."

"For what? I am a dead man and you know it. Where's the rest of my team?"

The fog in his brain was clearing, as well as his recollection of the two men. There was a wall of rubble now separating him and the two men who flanked him seconds before. If they had survived.

"I'm not sure but they have to be on the other side of this. The charge brought down the back pillars and it looks like it opened a connection to the elevator core."

Ryan started to gasp and wheeze as his own blood pooled at the back of his throat. He jerked a little and reflexively tried to sit, seemingly unaware that most of his body was pinned tight.

"Take it easy, buddy," Peter struggled to lay him down. His upper body was powerful and he was determined.

"You know what you have to do, he stared at Peter with those unblinking blue eyes. You're wasting time, time your people don't have. Go," he said.

"I can't leave you like this."

"Why not?"

"Because your..." he couldn't get the words out.

"Dying. I know. We're all dying. I just know the time and the place. I'm OK with it."

"It's not supposed to be like this." Peter managed.

"It never is."

Ryan's face was calm, peaceful; as if he was already gone. Damn it, he wanted him to fight; fight for a life he knew was already gone. Time was moving, yet everything seemed to stand still. He knew he needed to get to Diana and Neal, but for the moment he hadn't the will to move.

()()()()()()()()

Her heart was drumming in her chest. Exactly when she started to sprint, she didn't know. The crowd ahead had spilled out of the plaza and onto Vessey. Elbowing her way through the throng, she made it to the front. A wall of NYPD blocked further access.

"Miss, please stay back. You have to stand back."

She caught her breath.

"Hey Doc, is that you? What are you doing down here?"

She heard a familiar voice in the crowd. It was an EMT from the late shift. Ricky or was it Ronnie, her mind was a blur. Ronnie she decided, it sounded familiar.

"Ronnie, hey," she said breathing fast.

"Yeah Doc, I thought your shift ended earlier. They must be calling in everyone tonight. If this goes bad, we can use all the help we can get."

"Sure, where are you guys set up?"

"Come on, I'll take you to the staging center. You want to let her thru buddy. She's one of us."

She was waved through a sea of paramedics, EMT's and emergency responders from all across the city. Many she recognized from her stint in the ER.

"Wait here Doc, I'll get you signed up."

Her gut tightened as she thought about Diana, her Diana trapped in the building just 50 feet away. Breathe she told herself. She did, gasping in air. She hadn't been fully able to fill her lungs since she heard on the news that Diana was trapped in the building ahead. She didn't feel Ronnie take her arm.

"Doc, we gotta move. A friend of mine with NYPD says the building might go anytime. They're pushing the perimeter back. Good luck with that," as he looked over to the crowd. She couldn't move, her feet felt frozen in place.

"Doc, you OK?"

"What about the agents trapped inside?"

"I guess we move from rescue to recovery mode. Anyway it goes, it's going to be a long night. The feds commandeered the bar a block down; some of the guys are holed up there. I can get you in, if you want. Trust me, you don't want to wait out here in the cold."

He led her to the wine bar. There wasn't a sound in the room, all eyes were fixed on the big screen above the bar and the two agents huddled in the dark.

()()()()()()()()()

"Elizabeth, let me have someone take you home, you've been out here for hours.

"Reese, how long have we known each other?"

"Long time."

"Then you know, I am not leaving here without my husband."

"I promise, the first news we get. I'll have someone pick you up."

"What's going on? What aren't you telling me?" she said, her eyes searching his.

"They are moving the perimeter back."

"Why, what's wrong?"

"The briefing just came down. The most recent structural assessment is indicating imminent collapse."

Tears welled in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. Hughes squeezed her shoulder and drew her close.

"Peter's been in a lot of tough scrapes… if there is anyone I trust to get those agents out of there it's him. I would trust him with my life."

"Reese, I can't leave him," her voice began to break.

"Look, I can't get you into the command center. Only people with the highest national security clearance are allowed. I had to cash in all my chips to get this Intel. They've set up a satellite operation in a commandeered bar a few blocks away. How about you wait there. I promise I'll come for you if anything develops." She nodded silently.

Although the room was crowded with emergency responders, you could hear a pin drop. No one was talking. Everyone was focused on the big screen above the bar. It was Diana and Neal. Her heart stopped. She moved forward to an empty seat at the corner, when she recognized a familiar face.

"Christy?"

"Oh my God, Elizabeth."

The younger woman wrapped her arms tightly about her. Fighting back tears, they stood together for what seemed the longest time.

"What have you heard?"

"Not much, Reese has been updating me as much as he can. Peter's in there with an ATTF team. They've located Neal and Diana, but there is so much debris to clear it's making it difficult to reach them."

"One of the EMT's said the building could go anytime. I… I don't know what I'll do, if I lose her. I can't imagine…." her voice trailed off as she looked desperately at the screen.

"Diana's strong and smart as they come. If anyone can get through this it's her. Peter trusts her completely. We're not giving up on them."

But Christie knew her well; she felt the fear she was trying so hard to disguise. It was something she was unaccustomed to seeing in Elizabeth and it panicked her. Before she could catch herself she said,

"Elizabeth, I walked out on Diana tonight. I said some pretty awful stuff."

"Oh, honey. Loving someone is the most natural thing, and yet the hardest sometimes. I know. Tell me what happened," she saw something ease in those intelligent dark eyes searching hers.

"She's the most amazing person I know, but she is so afraid of losing me. She shuts me out. There is always that bit of distance and reserve. I know she loves me and how much it took to step outside her comfort zone to live a life with me. But is it wrong to want everything from her?

"No sweetheart, it's not," she rubbed her hand gently. There is a reason she and Peter get on so well. In some ways they are like mirror images, strong, loyal,smart and incredibly stubborn. There was a time I didn't think we would make it."

"I can't believe you guys were ever in trouble. Di and I joke all the time, when we grow up we want the kind of marriage you and Peter have."

"Well, it was after 9/11. We were here that day. We would have been in the Twin Towers when they collapsed. Windows on the World was one of my favorite places. Peter planned to meet me for breakfast to celebrate a promotion I'd gotten. I was late. I stopped to pick him up a new tie. He was interviewing later for a position with the White Collar Division. That day changed everything."

She took a moment. She didn't think she made any sound.

"Are you OK? You look a little pale,"Christie said anxiously.

"Yes, I'm fine." You know how it hits you sometimes, just how much you love someone. I knew something was eating at Peter. He refused counseling, he wouldn't talk to me. I knew this man and I knew he was holding something back from me. It was in his touch, his kiss... My love couldn't balance out the emotional wall he put up. I told him either talk to me or I was leaving."

"You threatened him."

"I guess I did, it worked. He though he had lost me that day thought he saw me fall. He was terrified of losing me again, so he pulled back in self preservation."

"What happened?"

"Once he began talking, it was like a damn opened. If he hadn't we wouldn't be here now. Honey, give Diana time."

Time was what they needed now. Her heart beat liked thunder in her chest, time was not on their side.

()()()()()()()()

"Diana, what's happening?"

"I'm not sure. They were planting a small charge to force an opening in the floor beneath us. But something's gone wrong. Really wrong. Nothing's coming through this useless device they left us."

The ache in his belly turned into an agony that was spreading through every cell of his body. He wasn't sure how long he could hold on. Soon he was going to pass out or vomit.

"Can you see the opening?"

"Yeah, the space has definitely opened up."

"Listen. You should go. Come back for me."

"I don't understand you. Why are you so willing to throw yourself away. You matter."

"I'm responsible for you and Peter being here. If I didn't give you reason to not trust me, you wouldn't be here. Kate died and it should have been me. It should be me now. I got you and Peter into this mess. He might be dead and you will be, if you don't leave."

"I'm not leaving Caffrey. You didn't do anything wrong and we wanted to make sure you wouldn't. I stayed because I care about you. We care about each other and if the shoe was on the other foot you would do it for me, do it for Peter. You know you would."

He lived in a world where people lied all the time, he was trained to know the difference between a lie and the truth. She meant it, he could see the care and concern in her face. He knew it was true, that if the shoe was on the other foot.. Having roots, people that cared about him, complicated things. Running was easy, this was hard. All his mistakes were coming home to haunt him.

"You don't understand."

"You bet your ass I do. You're scared, I get it. I know. But you can't keep making choices out of fear."

He tried to put Kate out of his mind, out of his heart. He wanted to concentrate on the life he had now, who he had now. Kate had made him happy. He recalled the first time he saw her at Vincent Adler's affair. Just remembering it recreated the feeling that flooded through him then. He could feel it even now, despite the gnawing pain in his belly. Like a door opening and sunshine flooding in.

"Neal, where are you?"

"I've been moving so long. Ties were a challenge to be beat. I wanted to keep moving. It's in my blood, maybe deep in my blood. Kate changed my life and I don't know if I wanted her to. It almost killed me when she died."

"But it didn't. You have to choose, on the road or off the road. You can't give up, Caffrey."

"I'm so tired," his voice was small and strained. Read me something."

She picked up the box and leafed through the letters until she came across one signed, Neal. It was his original letter. It was Neal, not some dead poet or famous classic. Her heart trembled slightly as she read...

_I sit in my self-imposed cell, next to gray walls marked in pieces of time, pieces of me. But I am not alone. I have journeyed. Journeyed through fire and rain, until I found the gift of you. You gave me a history. It is possible to rest in you. I can rest here. I've arrived. In your love, I am home._

While he lied quietly, his head on her lap, she yearned for the woman she loved and might never see again. Her thoughts were wrenched from her control as Neal's body convulsed. He gripped his stomach, pale fingers quivering from the pain. With horror she watched as a red bloom of blood sprouted over his leg.

"Peter, if you can hear this, I need you."

()()()()()()()()()

Ryan's voice was calm and measured. The rhythm of his breathing hitched a bit, the only sign that indicated he was dying.

"Peter, listen to me. We are way past the allotted time to extricate your friends. No one will be coming for us."

He felt the vibration in his ear before the actual sound came through. The device was working again. For the moment. He could hear Diana. Thank God, they were still alive. She was still reading to Neal. That was a good sign, he was alert. Peter paused for a moment to listen. He looked over at Ryan, his eyes were half closed.

"Ryan,"he said with some urgency.

"Listen," Burke.

The words filled the silent space.

_…... I have journeyed. Journeyed through fire and rain, until I found the gift of you. You gave me a history. It is possible to rest in you. I can rest here. I've arrived. In your love, I am home._

As he listened to the young man's letter, letters he had never written flashed through his brain. Letters he would never write. The letter to his father, when he went off to war. Telling him not to worry, because he had taught him to be a man. The letters to his wife, who breathed life back into him when he thought he was lost. Finally the letter to himself, "it was worth it all." He reached out and caught Peter's hand.

"We don't let the bad guys win. Don't let Vincent Adler win. Promise me, Burke."

" I promise," Peter whispered.

His blue eyes were open and his face turned toward him... and then he was gone.

The red dot flickered green.

"Peter, if you can hear me I need you."

"Diana, I'm here. I am coming to get you and Neal.

At that instant it became a race against time.

TBC

_Author's notes: Thank you so much for all the kind reviews. It's very much appreciated and a much needed source of support sometimes to keep working, when a story seems to get away from you._


	5. Chapter 5

The Box

Chapter 5

His legs were cramping. Still he moved forward. With each step his gut tightened. He misjudged the distance as he pushed over the broken pillars. His foot slipped. He slid backwards in the dark, tumbling out of control. Maybe three, four feet, until he landed heavily on his side. He was losing precious time.

It was difficult to stay focused, as he listened to the desperation in Diana's voice. Her fear was palpable. He couldn't let his mind go there. Was Elizabeth right? Had he lost sight of what was important, lost sight of himself? Neal's treasure turned out to be a box of love letters after all, not the plundered art he was so certain he'd stolen. The fury and betrayal he felt toward his wayward partner, a distant memory now. It couldn't end like this. He couldn't slow down. His promise to Ryan echoed in his brain and scraped at his heart.

He hauled himself up to the opening. The air was heavy, not much oxygen to breathe. He was panting as he scaled the mountain of concrete. He could see the back wall of what must have been the elevator shaft. There was a faint light casting shadows on the twisted steel where the walls met. Could there be an opening below, a way out? This was their only chance. A space five feet or so separated him from the rim of the elevator shaft. He took a single deep breath and launched himself across. He hit against the lower rung of a ladder running the length of the shaft. He gripped the rung and pulled with all his strength, aware that any slip would send him plummeting to his death. The crumbled walls and twisted steel made climbing treacherous, but he pawed and pounded his way upward. He knew the light above would lead him to Diana and Neal.

()()()()()()

"Neal, Neal! Please… don't do this."

His eyes were glassy and distant. She tilted his face towards hers. Her dark eyes filling with anguish she could barely contain. Her heart skipped several beats. She couldn't let herself panic, but she wanted to. She wanted to sob, to break down completely into someone she didn't recognize. After what seemed an eternity, he blinked slowly.

"Can you hear me?"

The pain had been suffocating; he curled so deeply into himself he'd lost all contact. He was drifting between worlds, one where he didn't hurt and this one. He wanted to remain silent, to pull farther away. But she was forcing him, holding onto him, urging him back. He was safe for the moment. Safe in her determination, safe in her will that he continue, that he survive. The problem was he didn't know how much longer he could oblige, how much longer he could hold on. Mustering all the energy he had left, he drew several ragged breaths.

"Diana... Listen to me."

"Hush, she said cradling his head in her hands. Peter will be here soon."

"You have to help him. You can get through the opening."

"You don't listen do you, she said with mock irritation. I am not leaving you here."

He shivered, as a painful round of coughing rattled through his chest. He shuddered for a long time, breathing rapidly through the pain.

"It's over now," she said taking his hand as his body relaxed.

"I've made so many bad decisions, gone down so many bad roads that seemed one way. It was always about me. When it came down to it, I always chose me. You said I had choices. I am choosing you tonight. Please, let me do this."

His thoughts drifted to his last conversation with Vincent Adler, _Come on Neal, let's stop hurting the people we love, let's bring this full circle ._ He couldn't let Peter and Diana sacrifice themselves for him. Some pains never go away, never heal. He couldn't risk anyone else. It had to end here. This was the end of the road; this was where she got off.

"I can't let you die on my account. I would give anything to go home to Kate tonight, he said softly. But I can't, I never will. Go home to Christie."

Her heart ached for him, she wouldn't let him sacrifice anything else. She knew she had to reach him somehow, help him. He couldn't give up, not now.

"If there was any other way, but there isn't Neal. Not for me. After Charlie died, I made a lot of bad decisions, didn't care about anything and anybody. I couldn't see a different path. He gave everything for me. At the time I didn't understand it; couldn't accept it really."

She fell silent. She knew the boundaries that separated them were not as starkly drawn as he might have imagined.

"We're not that different, you and me. I've been where you are. Not caring if I lived or died."

"What happened?" he managed.

"Christie happened. She changed me in ways I could never imagine. She loves with every fiber in her body. It scared the hell out of me, she smiled as she looked into his eyes with such tenderness. But she wouldn't let me run away. The rightness of it, the rightness of her love changed me. She showed me it was the future that counts, not the past. She gave me a second chance. She made Charlie's sacrifice mean something."

"And that's why I can't let you do this. I should be dead already. Vincent meant to kill me tonight. If you and Peter hadn't tracked me, I would have died in that explosion. You gave me a second chance… a chance to make things right. I want what's left of the choices I've made to mean something too, something beyond me."

"Do you know why Adler wanted you dead? I do. He envied you. He envied your talent, your creativity. He envied you Kate, but most of all he envied your ability to love. It was the one possession he could never have and never take from you. He knew you would risk everything, give everything because of it. We are not going to let him win, Neal."

He wanted to believe her. But he was so cold, he felt as if he was freezing from the inside out. He could barely feel the warmth of her body as she held him. His face went pale. Literally bloodless, as the crimson stain spread out from his body and seeped across the floor.

()()()()()

She felt a coldness creeping through her, as her thoughts took a dark turn. The realization she may never see her again, never hold her close, and never tell her how much she loved her was more than she could bear. She trembled under the touch of Elizabeth's hand on her shoulder. The bar was still, everyone transfixed as they kept silent vigil for the two trapped agents.

"Doc, you still here?"

It was Ronnie. He barely registered, as she was locked in the panic flooding her brain.

"Man, I feel so useless. If we could just get someone in there, we could stabilize him."

He could see the despair lining the usually beautiful face. It was jarring; she was always so calm, composed, almost serene. Everyone liked working shifts with her because of that. Maybe he could distract her with shop talk he thought.

"The guys and I were thinking it's probably a GI bleed, maybe his spleen. What do you think?"

Almost reflexively she answered, "Yeah the leg is not the primary. If I had to bet, I think it's in the liver... probably a hematoma from the fall."

"What makes you think that, Doc?"

"Because how slow the bleed has been up till now. Think about it. His liver would have probably produced a ton of clotting factors in response to the initial trauma, to slow down bleeding."

"Right, but I am not making the connection."

"The clotting factors would have slowed down the bleed from his leg too. Now the hematoma is breaking down and the clotting factors are diminishing…" a look of dread came across her face. She couldn't speak.

"So if they move him, he's gonna bleed out from the leg," Ronnie finished her sentence.

"Christie, what are you saying?" an incredulous Elizabeth asked.

"God we have to get to them and tell them not to move him. If they move Neal he'll hemorrhage to death. Unless… unless we can tie off the blood supply to his leg."

"But how, how can we do that?" Elizabeth was close to hyperventilating.

"She could do it, Ronnie pointed to Diana on the TV screen. Doc you could talk her through it."

"Is that true, Christie?"

"I don't know."

"You have to."

"But how?"

"If I can get you to Reese, can you do it?"

Christie nodded assent. She dared not speak, there was no way she could make her voice convincing.

"Move!" Elizabeth shouted as she began elbowing her way toward the exit and into the night air.

()()()()()()()

"Diana, it's Agent Hughes. We have been in touch with Peter and he's found an opening to your location. He and a team are on their way to you and Neal now, but we have another problem. I have Christie here, I am going to put her on."

"Christie? Her heart began pounding against her rib cage. How? What are you doing here?"

"Listen babe, we will talk later. I promise. Right now I need you to focus. We think Neal has a bleed in his belly. If they move him, he'll hemorrhage before we can get him to the hospital. He'll die. I am going to need you to restrict the blood supply to his leg."

Her mind was reeling, she was in an emotional free fall.

"Can you lift his shirt and get a good look at his abdomen for me?"

"Yes."

"What do you see?"

"There's a large bruise covering the lower part."

"Right or left?"

"Right."

Her heart was beating wildly now. All she had wanted was to hear her voice and now she couldn't comprehend what she was saying. The simplest movement of Neal's leg had caused excruciating pain. She thought he wouldn't make it, from the shock. This would be impossible, even in the most skilled of hands. How in God's creation did anyone think she could do this.

"I know you can do this Diana. I will guide you through it. You trust me, don't you? Is Neal conscious?"

"Barely."

"I'm here. I can hear you, Christie," he said in a choked whisper.

"Neal, we need to stabilize your leg, so they can move you. This is going to hurt, but it's the only way. I wish we had another option."

"It's OK. I trust my partner. Let's do this."

"Di, you are going to need a tourniquet. Do you have something, a belt, a piece of rope?"

"Neal's belt."

She began to loosen his belt and gently slip it from his waist.

"OK, you need to get as close to the femoral artery as possible. Maintain pressure on the wound and wrap the belt as high and tight as you can around his upper thigh."

She slid her hand under his leg and lifted. His body jerked in response, as pain rocketed up the right side of his body. She felt the impact as if it had gone through her as well. But she held on, her skin crawling at the amount of blood now gushing from the wound. Her hands were shaking so badly, she had to steady them against his legs as she bent over him. She had to work fast now, work through the bile building at the back of her throat, work through the sound of his screams. It was if she was floating outside her body, watching someone else. She got the belt in place and tightened.

"God. Stop. Stop it, make it stop please," he gasped. He was desperate to let go, to fall into blackness.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Neal. Forgive me."

Tortured breaths, in and out racked his body. His chest heaving, he desperately coughed, struggling for breath. She cradled his limp body to her chest as his wheezing became fainter and fainter. His crystal blue eyes began to dull. He was so still. She could feel his goodbye pass over her, but she wouldn't accept it.

_He was dying. If he had the choice, he'd keep trying;but it was almost a relief. With each slower breath, each slower heart beat, there was less pain. Soon he would feel nothing. There were people talking, moving, moving past him, they didn't seem to notice him. He thought he saw her, the dark haired girl. The voices were getting louder, yelling. He couldn't make out what they were saying. She came toward him, her pale face beautiful and terrifying all at once. You don't belong here! she screamed, and screamed until everything was swallowed in the awful noise._

"Neal Caffrey, you listen to me. We don't leave anyone behind, you hear me."

She was holding him as if a child caught in a bad dream, comforting him. Her throat was dry and her palms wet with his blood. She was certain of only one thing, Neal Caffrey was not dying tonight.

()()()()()()()

His heart was like a jack hammer in his chest. A few feet separated him from his friends. Glancing over his shoulder, the two younger members of Ryan's team were close behind. One last push, he was inside. He quickly scanned the space, they were in the far corner.

"Diana, it's Peter," he stepped forward and reached for them.

"No! No, don't touch him," she yelled holding Neal tightly to her.

She could hear him saying something, but she was off balance. Things weren't making sense.

Peter sat silently on the floor next to her and slid his arm around her. After supporting her for a moment he said, "It's over. I got you now."

Diana hesitated, but Peter kept his hand on her shoulder.

"You did good, you did. But you have to let him go now. It's alright. Give him to me." he said softly.

She nodded slowly, trembling as the adrenaline coursing through her began to dissipate. The tears she had bottled up began streaming down her face, as Peter took Neal's limp body in his arms. He was breathing, his pulse was surprisingly strong as he gently laid him down on the floor. The rescue team moved in and began the task of freeing him from the re-bar stake.

"We got him stabilized, but we got to go guys. Now!"

()()()()()()()

This is Brian Williams with NBC Nightly News reporting live, as we take you to the site of the bombing at Ground Zero. The two trapped FBI agents have just been brought out of the bombed building, just to your right. I am told one agent is in critical, but stable condition. If you look behind me, you can see the ambulance pulling away with a full NYPD escort. It was clear hours ago this was not a terrorist activity, I repeat there is no evidence of any link to terrorist activity. Yet this square has remained jammed packed with law enforcement agencies from every branch of government, paramedics, EMT's and what would seem most of the Manhattan populace, as they have kept vigil and kept faith with the two young agents. When the news of the rescue came through, there was high fives, hugs and tears as this place literally errupted in celebration.

Bear with me, but I think we have with us one of the team responsible for the rescue.

Agent Peter Burke. You are being roundly regarded as a hero tonight. Can you tell us how your feeling right now? You must be tremendously proud and relieved to have gotten your team to safety.

"I am very grateful, I truly am. But I am no hero. The hero here tonight is Special Agent Frank Ryan. He gave his life tonight in service of his country. Men like him ,who are on the wall every night are the real heroes here. He's your story. Sorry, but I have to find my wife."

There you have it. In a night of remarkable twists and turns and even more remarkable bravery, in the end its about connection, community and dare I say, love. Millions of emails, tweets, postings on face book have poured in tonight sparked by the letters and conversations of these people. Ordinary people brought here tonight to this extraordinary place. In a world filled increasingly with intolerance, fear and hate, maybe there is a lesson to be learned tonight. We are all in this together. This is Brian Williams reporting from Ground Zero. Good night.

()()()()()()

She was making her way through the crowd, when she saw him.

"Hey, hon," he smiled.

"Hey hon yourself," she rushed into his arms tears rolling freely down her cheeks.

"I am OK." he was more worried for her.

"I know. I was just so scared. The thought of losing you."

"You were right earlier," he said calmly.

She blinked at him. "Peter, if you hadn't tracked Neal; he would have died in that explosion, died alone, because of that mad man. You saved him."

"I thought he was gulty. I was so angry and so sure. But you don't have doubts like I do, you knew instinctively he hadn't betrayed me and stolen the art."

"I've never doubted you, honey. Your instincts are what makes you so good at your job. What makes you such a good and incredible man. It's hard with Neal, because what was a job to you is now family to you. Your struggle is to reconcile them both. I don't have that burden."

She cradled him to her chest, his arms tightening around her. There was no distance between them now.

"I never stopped trusting you. You may not feel like a hero, but your mine... always. I love you Peter Burke."

()()()()()()

The room was quiet. The nurse checked the charts, stared at the monitors, took Neal's pulse and left as quickly as he came. Elizabeth had finally dragged an exhausted Peter home. June would be coming back later after she retrieved some of Neal's personal items. Mozzie most likely would make a disguised appearance somewhere in the middle of the night. He looked so peaceful, almost childlike as he slept, no traces of the devastating pain from earlier. Her thoughts were interrupted as Christie came to the door.

"You were amazing tonight, but I already knew that. My own warrior princess," she joked.

Diana stood and joined her in the hallway. She tried not to make any sound for fear of waking him. She pressed her lips against hers, and felt them curve into a smile. She laid her head on her shoulder; savoring her smell, the warmth of her skin. As her arms tightened about her, every concern, every fear fell away. She was right where she belonged.

"Christie, I am so sorry."

"Don't be. That not important now."

"It's all that's important. You deserve better. I deserve better. We can do this."

Neal started to stir, the clip on his finger emitting a low steady beep.

"He's fine, just a positional change registering. Dr. Taub says he'll make a full recovery, and so will we babe."

"Physically, but emotionally, I don't know." she sighed as she looked at her sleeping partner.

"What did Kate's letter say? Everyone wanted to know about this girl he risked so much for."

"There is no letter. It was all a plan of Vincent Adler, orchestrated from beyond the grave. That sick bastard, he wanted to twist Neal's heart one more time."

"What are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know."

"Whatever you decide, I know it will be the right thing. He's a lucky man to have you on his side. I am so sorry Di. We were all rooting for that letter. You need to get some rest, doctor's order. I am going to go find Dr. Taub and get the latest report on Neal. Then I am going to take you home."

She sat by his bedside for sometime, lost in thought; sorting through all the things she might say to him.

The clip on his finger beeped a little louder as he shifted in bed. As she leaned over him to make sure everything was OK, his eyes fluttered open.

"Hey sleepy head."

"Hey. What happened to me?"

"You don't remember?"

"I remember you taking off my belt. Yeah, what happened to that, it's an original Devore."

"You would remember that."

"I remember you trying to cop a feel." he gave her a lopsided grin.

"Shut up Caffrey."

His eyes began to slowly close.

"You wouldn't be trying to go back on a promise, said you were going to stay awake."

"It's the drugs, drugs are good."

"I got something you might want to keep those baby blues open for. It's Kate's letter."

"I thought it was lost, in the wreckage."

"You know me Caffrey, can't leave anything behind, especially after all the work you put us through to get this. Now, move over."

She sat down next to him on the bed, gently positioning his head against her shoulder.

_When I walked into your arms, it was like being home. I'm no longer sure what's yours and what is mine, what is you and what is me. I am someone new because of you. No false hopes, no empty rooms, no more journeying, always home. Every path no matter how worn and traveled leads me to you. I never stopped wanting you. I've never stopped loving you, the last moment will always belong to us._

She saw something ease in him, as if a burden had been lifted. Tears welled in his eyes and flowed down his cheeks.

"Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me." But she did. The drugs were kicking in big time, as his eyes closed and he fell into what seemed a restful sleep. She laid his head against the pillow and gently kissed his forehead.

"Good night Neal."

She was unaware Christie had been standing in the doorway the entire time,yet glad for it just the same. This was new to her, territory she had always ceded to her. Her acceptance was important.

She didn't say anything at first. Then she leaned in and kissed her.

"Did I tell you how much I love you tonight?"

"Yes, but don't let that stop you. It never gets old."

"Let's go home."

The end.

Author's Notes: I am sorry it's taken so long to post this final chapter. It was harder than I expected. I had several endings, some darker than others. But as you can see, I am a sucker for a happy ending. It was such a bad news day when I decided on this ending, filled with tragedies small and large. I kind of liked the idea that our white collar family might be able to contribute something hopeful to the body politic, if only fictional. For all of you who have written reviews, added me to alerts/favorites and have just stayed with this story, thank you. I would love to get your feedback on the ending. If you have the chance, drop me a line.


End file.
